[Let's Test Driving]

[dontcallmedarling]

[Well, you've certainly lost you way, haven't you? By one way or another, you lost your path, and only now do you find yourself back to civilization. Well, kind of.

Whereever you were, you now find yourself at a tavern. There's shelllfish decorations everywhere, hearty patrons that look like they're straight from a renassiance faire, and lobster.

Hooo boy, is there lobster, and plenty of it. In fact, there's a bunch piled up, almost buffet style, at the front counter, next to a boisterous young man in armor that almost dwarfs him, taking a bite of the steamed seafood.]

Great meal as always, Lobby, though the ale's still watered down! I thought you guys were working on gettin' something with a bit more kick to it?


[Well, there's food and drink, and maybe the guy in travelling garb and armor can tell you where the hell you ended up.]

Comments

[artesmagicae]

Scary, scary! "Justice" is almost as scary as getting crabs!

[dontcallmedarling]

"Getting" crabs I've never heard of, exactly, but I won't deny that the concept of Justice is a scary thing. It's a tall order to try and help those who have misfortune beget them whereever I can.

[artesmagicae]

Should I worry? Will you storm my palace gates?

You should! I confess to oppress to impress my guests on quests!

[dontcallmedarling]

Nay, I don't think you have anything to worry from me.

Though I must confess that oppression sounds rather fanciful. Perhaps you are a tyrant of your own domain!

[artesmagicae]

Were my people ever to get a vote, they would vote --- Hahaha, for no else! Because I am the best of rulers, because I am the laziest of rulers!

[dontcallmedarling]

Ah, a wonderful laid-back life. I'm afraid I don't get to appreciate that kind of lifestyle very often.

[artesmagicae]

Conquer a kingdom and retire to throw the greatest of parties.

[dontcallmedarling]

...Maybe at some point I'll have to. But I doubt it'll be one that I'll have full cheer about.

[artesmagicae]

Uhwah?

[dontcallmedarling]

Eh, nothin'. Family issues. Uncle's a tyrant running my homeland into the ground, you know, usual adventurer's fare.

[artesmagicae]

A tragic backstory and a cruel villain is the source of every justified adventure! Frolic through your storyline to its bitter conclusion!

[dontcallmedarling]

[He holds back a bitter snort.]

Exactly, see what I mean? Everyone's got a tragic tale, and it's never all sunshine and sunflowers.

[artesmagicae]

[ Clicks his fingers, and a bouquet of sunflowers appears. ]

[dontcallmedarling]

[Takes it.]

...You are a strange one. Who are you?

[artesmagicae]

Isate, god of magic and chaos!

[dontcallmedarling]

...What.

[I'M A PALADIN AND I'M CHILLING WITH A GOD OF MAGIC AND CHAOS.

I'M SO BAD AT THIS.]

[artesmagicae]

I told you, I told you~ S-c-a-r-y~!

[dontcallmedarling]

...Pfffhahahaha.

Man, that threw me for a loop! I don't normally meet gods every day. You can imagine why I freaked out there for a second!

[artesmagicae]

I am the cutest and freakiest of the pantheon, it is true! I thank you for your offering!

[dontcallmedarling]

Offering?

[artesmagicae]

[ Vague, smug gesture to the seafood he's being chowing on. ]

What paladin gives food to a chaos god?

[dontcallmedarling]

One who is not exactly the best at idetnifying a chaos god when he sees one.

[Heh. Heh heh.

I fucked up.]

[artesmagicae]

I am fabulous and subtl- HAHHAHA, I am not! That is the filthiest of lies I have nearly spoken.

[dontcallmedarling]

I am... not the most clever man you've ever seen.

[artesmagicae]

[ Starts cackling like a supervillain. ]