[Let's Test Driving]

[dontcallmedarling]

[Well, you've certainly lost you way, haven't you? By one way or another, you lost your path, and only now do you find yourself back to civilization. Well, kind of.

Whereever you were, you now find yourself at a tavern. There's shelllfish decorations everywhere, hearty patrons that look like they're straight from a renassiance faire, and lobster.

Hooo boy, is there lobster, and plenty of it. In fact, there's a bunch piled up, almost buffet style, at the front counter, next to a boisterous young man in armor that almost dwarfs him, taking a bite of the steamed seafood.]

Great meal as always, Lobby, though the ale's still watered down! I thought you guys were working on gettin' something with a bit more kick to it?


[Well, there's food and drink, and maybe the guy in travelling garb and armor can tell you where the hell you ended up.]

Comments

[foxpas]

[i'm a tiny foxgirl with a sword bigger than i am

i think i'm not supposed to be here]

... Um, this doesn't look like Henwen at all, does it.

[dontcallmedarling]

[Tiny foxgirl with huge sword, meet huge dude with a greataxe turning and staring at you.]

Henwen? Nay, this is Southshore. Can't say I've ever heard of a Henwen.

...Or, seen something quite like yourself.

[Okay I have but this is neither the time nor place to expound on it.]

Who're you?

[foxpas]

[well. her face remains very politely cheerful but her ears flatten and her tail bristles a bit.]

I'm not a 'thing'. My name's Citrine. "Southshore" doesn't sound like a team I know about...

[dontcallmedarling]

Ah- apologies. No offense meant, it's just I've only ever seen some..one like you one other time.

And Southshore's not a team, it's a city, and this here's the Drunken Lobster.

[foxpas]

I don't remember much, but I'm pretty sure we're called 'mixed-bloods', and we're human, sir.

... A city?

[dontcallmedarling]

[You feel him stiffen a bit, like you might have poked him in the spine.]

Well, yes. Though I'm more used to the variant that's more... akin to a troublemaking spirit than anything else.

...Yes, a city. With people and businesses and sometimes, even boats and ships. ...Why?

[foxpas]

... I don't remember any 'variants' besides my little sister, sir. We're not spirits.

How did I get here? I didn't think that was possible now.

[artesmagicae]

[ Why would he ask questions about something silly like the dimension he's in?

He immediately settles down on the edge of the table, grabbing a plate of lobster. This was yours? Too bad. ]

Uhwaaah, such cruel insults against their professional pride, the pride of the budding alcoholic merchant! Will it inspire them, or will you wake up in a ditch with tragically little to your name?

[dontcallmedarling]

[Turns and stares at you. What the hell.]

Eh, relax. I've been friends with the proprietors for quite some time. I'm just messin' around, mainly.

They couldn't find anything to get me that drunk anyway.

[artesmagicae]

[ he's a perfectly harmless looking blond eating lobster now. ]

Is that manly, or sadly? Do you wish in your heart to pierce the secret mystery of black outs and ditches? To have little recollection of the glory and ignominy of that night?

Or are you here for the crustaceans? It is delicious!

[dontcallmedarling]

[Okay, he likes you. You're a total weirdo, but he enjoys you. You get a chuckle, though.]

More of a hazard of the occupation, I'm afraid. When you take up the mantle of a holy crusader, with time, your body learns to use that power to keep you free of disease and poison - which, sadly, covers alcohol, at least with regards to the much weaker spirits.

But the crustaceans are delicious. This place has the finest seafood for miles - I could eat my weight in it!

[artesmagicae]

Then you would no longer fit in your armour, just as these have been torn from theirs. Would the metal warp before your mightily fishy bulk?

[ Cracks open part of the shell, nom nom nom. ]

What do you crusade for?

[dontcallmedarling]

You joke, but once I was almost the meal to a crab thrice my size! That lobster meat fed us for days - I even out-ate a lizardfolk! I've had a taste for the stuff ever since.

[munches himself, happily.]

For a world free of those who would oppress and take advantage of the common man and wield cruelty in their iron grip. To find evil and strike it down where I can.

[artesmagicae]

Scary, scary! "Justice" is almost as scary as getting crabs!

[heirtrigger]

[Maratris hasn't so much as lost her way as she has come on this way on an exploratory mission from that fledgling new country, south of Brevoy in what used to be the Stolen Lands. Mostly looking for places that would be good to trade with.

Or maybe she's more lost than she's aware of. Things look pretty normal to her, even down to the assholes giving her flack for the whole tiefling thing.

She's done her best to talk it off, but charisma has never been her strong suit, so when in doubt, do something nonlethal. However, what she does doesn't really look nonlethal, given that she's shoving a paper cartridge into a dragon-headed pistol and aiming it at her hassler. He looks surprised, but then goes down when she pulls the trigger and a blast of color smacks the guy square in the face.]

...warned him.

[dontcallmedarling]

[The blast of color gets Netsu's attention. Thankfully, he can quickly figure out it's non-lethal - having adventured with a Wizard and Sorcerer, you tend to be able to pick out the stuff that's lethal from the stuff that isn't.

Pro tip: The lethal stuff is usually fire.

When the patrons cause a ruckus from that, Netsu slips off his barstool, standing up. He looks at you quizzically, but not necessarily out of any sort of malice.]

well, I guess it's better than a fireball setting the tavern ablaze.

Though your... choice of casting is rather different, traveller.

[heirtrigger]

[She snorts, holstering the gun and going back to her own food.]

I learned early on to be very careful with both black powder and magic on their own, so...

[She shrugs with one shoulder, briefly curling her tail next to her chair before lightly whipping it toward the floor in annoyance.]

Different casting for a different person.

[dontcallmedarling]

Black powder?

[He could have sworn the secret to that- no, she disposed of it, quite clearly, he remembers. How would a traveler had-]

Different, but not altogether dissimilar, it seems. What's your story?

[Pulls up a chair net to you, sitting with a thunk as his armor clinks and rattles.]

[crimsonbloom]

[ You have another short girl with a sword busy eating lobster. A maybe staring at you, because she sure hasn't seen armour like this before. ]

What's ale?

[ Asking the important questions. ]

[dontcallmedarling]

[What is with short girls and swords lately.

Not that I'm complaining, but.]

It's a drink. Alcohol, to put it in a better term. I quite enjoy it, myself.

[It is a huge suit of armor, though. And it pretty much covers him from the neck down.]

[crimsonbloom]

[ At least I'm taller than the other girl!!! It's a katana in fact, even.

She has to wonder if it would be rude to poke the guy's armour, except she knows it actually is rude so it's more like 'can I get away with it'. ]

I've never heard of alcohol like this before...

[dontcallmedarling]

[He doesn't seem uncomfortable at all, you might be able to get away with poking him.]

Should I ask if you're old enough to have some? Though, I suppose if you can hold a weapon, you can hold a drink, aye?

[Netsu please do not encourage tiny girls to get drunk.]

[crimsonbloom]

[ SHHH she's plenty old enough to drink 16 is old enough right ]

It's not as if I haven't drank wine before. Though I suppose mother would be quite upset if she were to discover I got inebriated in a foreign land.

[dontcallmedarling]

[IT'S PLENTY OLD ENOUGH says the guy who's been drinking since he was 17, he motions for Lobby - who is, as you might guess, in a lobster suit, to bring another round of ale.]

A foreign land, you say? From where do you come from?

[crimsonbloom]

[ Once the ale arrives she picks it up for a quick sniff, and then wrinkling her nose at the smell. ]

I come from Inaho Province.

[ I am also princess of said province but let's not mention that. ]